Hot Babes in Toyland... and that's a wrap

Lets take a few moments to be honest with ourselves... Am I going to be cast as a super hot model, sex toy making elf...Possibly??
DO I however sign the contract, Show up for rehearsals, wear the red spandex pants on opening night, knowing full well that any hot babe off the streets could pull off the line " do you want to wrestle in Jello?? I like jello, it's sticky." Now, just as a reminder, it is a PAID gig, and it takes place INSIDE a THEATRE... imagine that. I actually asked the director, having read for both HEAVENIQUE and SERENDIP... and having cooed, and ahhhed and ooohed, and even put my hands on my hips and did a little shimmy once or twice... I asked him If i could read another side. simply because i was so giddy to be on stage. Hell I think I would have taken off my cardigan, European pits and all if he would let me stay for another half hour. I should think that might be sad to some of you. But trust me, there is nothing sad about embodying a Super hot Sex toy making Elf. No, some might say liberating even. Because at the end of my 45 minute audition, (he let me read for Mrs. Claus AND Rudolf) I walked out, made my peace with the other whores awaiting their turn, and was yet again alone on the streets of Seattle with my knee high cherry socks, my pasty hairy knee caps, my red velvet belt, my cardigan tied tightly under my breasts, and my big bright shining sense of self. Because I know without a doubt that I love what I do. I love being an actor, I love pretending to be a hooker, and I love that i can stare crosseyed at a midget whilst making crude elf jokes and that be okay... encouraged rather.

I walk slowly this time, with no where in particular to go. It's dark now. I pass a grocery store and consider buying a cake. But decide against it, and continue on down the hill I had anxiously been jogging up an hour ago. I come up to my bus stop. It's in front of a Wallgreens, and there is a notice on the door. I stand, staring into the window at my reflection, and the notice which is taped onto a neon pink poster board. NOW HIRING. Suddenly I had an instant gasp of hysteria as my life flashed forward 20 years to a broken down desperate actor working at Wallgreens. The thought is too much to bare... So I pay close attention to the tree with gorgeous orange leaves dancing, then i quickly turn my gaze down towards the end of the street ligned with warm yellow lights to the big red sign reading PIKE PLACE MARKET... I run to it. To the water. to the wind to the mountains... and i sigh. Fear, it was fear that showed its ugly face and grabbed me from behind blocking my air passage. It tells me that my dreams are ridiculous and childish, that I need to face reality, and stop "trying" to be an artist. Then I Have HArOld Ziegllars face from Moulin ROUge pop up saying "we are creatures of the under world we can not afford to Love" and then i have an image of Ewen Mcgreggor saying, "All you NEED is Love" and then smiling at me with his big cute dimples... and because of that... because of Moulin Rouge... all is right again in my world. I am now able to turn around and walk back to my bus stop, and not only face the fluorescent lights of Wallgreens, but face my calling, face my purpose for being, and face the fear of a future, which is unknown and unpredictable as the wind.